Overcoming....

I told y'all when I started this blog that I wanted to feature a mom every week. It's just something I want to do. I find that we can be the best kind of encouragement to each other.  Well first up is Angie! I knew her in high school. She was a year younger than me but was one of the sweetest, funniest gals ever!! I'm loving getting to know her better and reconnecting via Facebook.  I hope you enjoy her story! I did!

ANGIE:

About 5 years ago I was faced with a mortgage, a car payment and insurmountable debt...alone. I was finalizing my divorce and I "got to" keep the house, car and credit cards of course. I am a teacher by trade so money was tight every single month. Now, single, with 2 daughters, money was basically gone. I knew in my heart that I would eventually be better. Better for myself and better for my girls, but during that time, I wasn't better. I was a mess. I was drowning in debt, emotions and day to day that I barely survived.
I was a zombie going through daily life, barely interacting in meaningful ways, with others. Anyone who's been through divorce knows this time. Knows the numb, hollow place where your heart used to be. Knows the feeling of life swallowing you up and honestly wishing it to.
I'll spare you the details but eventually you snap out of it. You look your angels in the face and say "I'm going to live for them. I'm going to ask God for strength for the day, the hour, the minute, the second." Because they need you. They need to see their mom overcome and be their mom. Their mom who will provide for them and pray for them and be there for them. So that's what I did. Through much prayer and support from my friends, family and church, I got up. I did life again. And eventually started to feel like myself again.
Kids can do that to you. Jesus can do that to you. Give you hope. Give you a reason. A reason to interact with others. A reason to live and grow and be better. So I did. I lived. I did life daily.
Once I realized ending the month in the red wasn't healthy (I had started to emotionally, spiritually and physically take care of myself (more on the physical part in a minute)), I began to pray for ways to earn extra income to pay off the debt I had. I made lists of bars and restaurants I might possibly bartend at on Thursday nights and every other weekend. There were placed like that right? Haha wrong!
A few months before I signed up to become an ambassador for a company called Plexus Worldwide. I signed up for the discount ONLY. I figured if I could at least get this stuff cheaper it would be worth it, right? I started taking the products and lost maybe 4-5lbs. Not what I was looking for! Quite honestly I wasn't doing my part. I wasn't drinking enough water, eating healthier, or even working out.
I kept praying for an opportunity for a second job. Something where I could make some extra money to pay off debt. In the back of my mind and even heart perhaps, I heard this small voice saying "what about Plexus?" After 3 more months of praying about the second job, I finally listened. I started taking the products consistently. I drank my water everyday. I started working out again. I lost another 10lbs and went down a pant size! I even ran a half marathon! By June, I jumped. I decided to start sharing the health I felt because of Plexus. By August I was making enough to pay for my products plus my water and power bills! Whoo!!! You can't imagine the feeling of making just a little extra every month. My business continued to grow and so did my paycheck. Every month I got a raise! I mean, I love my teaching job but I've never received a raise that frequently! As my paycheck continued to grow, my debt diminished. I could breathe again. I could buy my girls things for school and clothes and shoes as they grew out of them instead of waiting it out (you know where you wait "just a few more weeks because the weather will change" waiting it out). I was able to start saving for retirement and possibly even a vacation! This past summer, I took my family of 9 to Gulf Shores, Alabama. We stayed in a terrific condo and had such fun. I was pregnant at the time (surprise) and in November married a great friend from high school whom I had been dating.  In just 5 weeks we will add to our family. A baby boy will join our brood of 4. Yep you read that right! 5 kids!! We are almost the Brady Bunch but will not actually be them. We're stopping at 5. LOL. Plexus has blessed my family with health. Plexus has blessed my family with wealth to save for land and a home and provide for them in ways I never dreamed.
 I don't mean to give Plexus the credit because I know that the same savior who saved me when I was 9 years old is the same savior who nudged me. Provided an opportunity to take care of my family through Plexus. Christ is the same Savior who brought Jason back into my life. And while we may not have "created" our family the way some perceive to be "right," we are blessed. We aren't perfect but there is an awful lot of love in this house. And there will be more very soon!

The plate...

As mothers, we have so much on our plates. Whether you work or stay home, the plate is full. It's always full and until your children are out of the house, it remains full. Now I'm just guessing on that bc I still have all three of my punks at home! I stole "punks" from a dear and hilarious friend. It's meant lovingly, I promise. But I see older friends or acquaintances with their children long gone and there's a difference. The plate is way less full! Like possibly a European size portion verses our fat ass American portions. You ever hear about that? We eat too much over here! Oh well...we can discuss that another time.

Anyhoo, where was I? Oh the plate. Yes the full plate. It gets easier, or so I hear....and I know there's that saying "the days are long but the years are short." Ahhh, that saying. There could not be more truer words spoken. 

We all have those days where we don't think we're going to make it. My time of day is anywhere between 3:30-4:30. What the hell is it about that time? I think it's the lack of energy combined with cranky kids. And that's usually our time of rushing kids from point A to point B so emotions are high people! Shoot there are days when I pick the older 2 punks up and drive thru that circle and I want to make a U-turn and drive them right back. 

My oldest is an awesome kid, but she's got the same disease that I have. The one where you wear every emotion you're feeling on the outside. You know the one! So when I see #1 crossing that crosswalk, I'm thinking "oh hell. She ain't happy." Luckily (unfortunately for me), she saves it for me. Boy do I usually get an earful! Sigh...

 

If you know me, you know I'm a worrier. My husband is not. So we balance each other well. I have a joke that he lives in "Tim land". Tim land is like a carnival with fabulous rides and delicious funnel cakes. He's there a lot. Which I think is great bc dang would my life be a lot easier if I could live like him. He's usually carefree and happy. Me...I'm like a wound ball of stress that's fixing to snap! And I'm medicated! I have NO shame in sharing that! Can you imagine me NOT medicated? Holy crap...I can't! 

I worry too much! I worry about my kids socially, physically and mentally. Every morning after their daddy takes them to school, I pray that they have a good day. I pray that they are kind to others, and that others are kind to them, that they make wise choices and focus on their work, and that they enjoy school.

 So on top of an already full plate, I'm worrying. As a mom with young children still at home, we leave very little time for our spouses and ourselves. It's hard but it must be done. My husband is very good about giving me "ME" time if I need it but at times I probably don't even stop to see that I do need it. 

The reason I wanted to create this blog is to reach other women. I'm always inspired by other moms. I love reading about moms of all walks of life and where they've been, where they hope to go....how they overcame something, etc.

I want to be an encouragement to all moms. And I want you all to share how you manage your full plates OR how you are not managing. Are you "drowning" right now? Join the club! I think we all "drown" at some point. At least we think we are. I'm very guilty of looking at another mom and thinking, "she has it all together". Whereas she may not feel that way at all. People tell me I'm the mom that does it all! Ummm ok..? I don't feel that way! Lol! This is where we could all be more encouraging to one another.  I've heard many women say "oh I'm just too busy", but honestly it doesn't take too much to help a fellow mom out. 

 

I'm excited to be sharing a fellow mom this week, so stay tuned. As I feature these moms, I hope it helps you somehow. I find that some of my worst days can be made so much better just by talking to another mom! Or heck, even my own mom!! My mom is my biggest fan. I know I'll do my best to be that for my kiddos too. I hope you enjoy my featuring a fellow mom. I'm trying to cover all different types and successes or advice that one may give. 

Until then, rock on with that full plate! We're all in this together! 

From a distance...

Let me start with my faith. Yes, I'm a Christian. Always have been, always will be. However, like any Christian I've been up and down with my walk and the example I am. I can curse a wee bit much (I'm not proud of that, just saying there's where my weakness lies). I accept all faiths and people. Tim and I teach our kids that as well. No matter what a person believes, looks like, loves, acts...we still love them as God would love us. That being said, I want my blog to reach ALL people. I know many tend to shut down when God is brought up. Please know that my blog is not intended to go all Christian on you. Again, I accept you for who you are and what you believe and I'm glad you're here. I just want you to know where my heart lies. I'm not perfect...I never will be. But for ME, God will help me get through day to day life. Without Him, I'd be lost.

So where we live is not a huge town. It's considered a small city. That being said, you're going to run into someone that you no longer speak to. It's bound to happen. In the past 24 hrs I've had several reminders of a certain situation that continues to bother me. Yes, I let it bother me but I'm that kind of person. The kind that holds onto things for way  too long. Add it to my list of faults. So anyway, check out my daily Bible verse from yesterday:

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends.

John 15:13

Now whether you're a Christian, Buddist, Mormon, Atheist, etc. I think we can all find this quote relatable. Would you lay down your life for a friend? Would someone do the same for you? Do you have a few best friends or many acquaintances? 

I hope you don't think I'm rambling but I need to give some background first. Tim and I moved to Tyler back in 2004. Brynn was not even 4 months old and besides Tim, I had no friends. So we have a new baby and a major move all before our first anniversary! Stress much?

So anyway, I had no one. I started work and quickly made work friends. My work friends were great. I fit in with the Tyler team very well.  I worked retail so my hours were all over the place and even going to church on a consistent basis was hard. It took us a good 2 yrs to get plugged into a church. 

I'd say by the time I felt "accepted" with a core group of people outside of work,  was the fall I was pregnant with Parker. Tim had left the world of band directing and started a new career path. This path would afford us the opportunity for me to be a stay at home mom once baby boy came. That's something I had always wanted. Let me tell you, it was the most isolating experience I have ever felt.  The core group of moms I thought I had, really never called.  I had to call them. And when I did call them, it felt awkward. I was included but not included. It was hurtful and I was lonely. I was allowed in but only on the outer circle. Years pass and I made friends with a wonderful group of ladies that I'm still friends with today. I've added to that circle of friends as well and I can honestly say that I finally feel connected. But damn did it take forever and it made me question everything about myself. What was wrong with me? Do I come off too strong? Am I too much? Was I too much for our conservative East Texas town?😉 I mean yeah, I say it like it is but I usually try and do it with humor not hurt. I've moved around many times in my life and had to make new friends, so why was it so hard here?! 

So you're probably wondering why I gave you all that mumbo jumbo above.  I've held onto something for too long. There's  someone that doesn't like me. I've tried to make amends with her but she basically said no. When I look back, I think I probably did something wrong...wait did I do something wrong??  I was defending someone that was hurt and had every right to be hurt. Because hey, I'd want someone to do that for me. I'd lay down my life for a good friend and expect it in return. I didn't expect to be cut off because of what I'd done. But it happened...

So to this person, I do not hate you. In fact, I forgive you for making me feel like crap and taking up 4+ years of my self- esteem...making me question every little thing I did wrong and over analyzing why you didn't like me. And the next time I see you out around town, I'll try my best to look you in the eye and say hello. I won't do my normal spot you from a distance and duck down another aisle! I've got to let the piece of hate I have in my heart go because it's not healthy. And no matter what your belief system is, hate is not right. 

I want my reputation to represent my character and vice versa! 

Phew that was a long entry. But I'm trying to tie it all together. We as women are so much more susceptible to these kinds of situations. It's so hard to let go and move forward. It's hard to lose a friend or acquaintance. It's hard to see/hear someone bad mouth you to others. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to be everyone's bestie, but I'm encouraging you to reach out to others. Take the time and include someone you normally wouldn't include. It would make all the difference in the world to that person. I know that I would've appreciated that a few years ago.

Late in life...

Have another baby I thought...it'll be fun!

And it is fun! But I'm tired! Rowan is exhausting! She's the type of baby that never stops, runs everywhere, makes a mess, gets into everything, doesn't sit and watch a 20 minute show (whyyyyyy for the love of God does she not like tv like the rest of us????) thinks she's one of the big kids, has caused me a crap ton of gray hairs, makes me want to pull my hair out, can never ever take my eyes off of her, type of baby. 

But I love her...one look in those eyes and I see myself.  I see her daddy when she makes certain faces, I see her big sister as a happy, gleeful toddler, and I see her big brother in her tenacity and when she sleeps. She is easily all of us rolled into one. She is fun, loving and smart as hell. She's my late in life baby girl, who will keep me young!

I never thought we'd have another baby. I'd had my perfect, gorgeous, independent first-born girl and my handsome, sensitive, loving mama's boy...one of each...done! Man on man defense. But no, God had other plans. And I'm glad He did. Because I can't imagine life without my number 3. She completes us! Even if she makes us nuts...

Goody goody...

What's in a name....

So I bet you're wondering about the address/name of my blog?! If you are , read on...if not read anyway!

I drive a Buick. An Enclave to be exact. I love my car. I love her! Yes it's a she....I don't know why she's a she and not a "he", but that's neither here nor there. When I first saw it on the lot I was like "ooooh this is nice". And then I saw the Buick emblem. Uh no. No way in hell was I driving a Buick. The average age of those that own Buicks is like 65. NOT that I'm making fun of a 65 yr old bc 60 is like the new 40! But I was like no. My hubby and brother were with me and rolled their eyes at me and with the salesman. Long story short, we bought the car. It was a good deal and never did I think I'd drive such a nice car. But man, the crap many people gave me and still give me over driving a Buick. It's ok though...I'm a jokester so if I dish it, I've gotta take it! Btw, I even convinced one of my oldest and dearest friends to get one! And she freakin loves it!!

Like most busy moms, I'm in my car A LOT! They being said, in all my chauffeuring and errand running, I have a lot of "window time". I get my best thoughts driving. I don't know why but I just do. So that's why I named my blog "blogginginmybuick"! I think it's catchy and different! 

Can I get an AMEN!!

Whyyyyyy??!! Anyone else?! My older 2 tell me sometimes that I scare them! I don't know how to feel about that? Happy? Sad? It usually happens when we're in Kohl's or Michael's. I have lost it on them in those 2 stores more than any other! What the hell? 

How about you? When/where do your kids go cray on you? Oh and if your answer is "they really don't" or "mine are well behaved in public", you're not allowed to read my blog anymore! Ha!! Kidding...kinda.

What do I want to be...

So we're always asking kiddos, "well ______, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Kids are so lucky...life is easy for them in terms of the responsibilities and worries of the world. It's fun to be a kid...to have your whole life ahead of you! A fresh slate if you will. Now don't get me wrong, I think kids these days face many other other challenges that my generation never had to face, but that's a whole 'notha Oprah!

So back to my title...btw, you'll quickly learn that I can ramble and I LOVE to use these >........but back to my topic...(see??) I'm a 39 year old wife and mother of 3. I've been married to my best friend and my oh so handsome baby daddy, Tim, for almost 12 years. Our 3 kids are Brynn, Parker and Rowan. They are freakin awesome kids and I love being their mom.  That's why I've been so torn on how to convey my thoughts. I've become very complacent in my life. I don't need recognition or to make thousands of dollars but I need more. I really can't quite put my finger on what I need. I just feel a void of some sort needs to be filled. Not to mention that every single bible verse I've come across has to do with "your purpose" or  "contentment".  Have I ever really been content? What is my purpose? I know...deep stuff but for the last 2 months, I cannot move past these thoughts! It's like one of those pie charts, and it's mostly filled but there's a sliver open. Does that make sense? Great now I'm thinking about pie. I love pie! I really shouldn't eat it but damn I could go for some right now. It could be a fruit pie or pudding pie...I really don't care!

So anyway, back to my pie. What will make me content? Why am I all of a sudden seeking contentment? Is it God speaking to me? Is He trying to motivate me to seek out my purpose? I honestly thought my purpose was to be a wife and mother. And if that's what it is, then so be it. But it has been very heavy on my heart that I can do more. Whether it's to help others OR myself. I've always heard the phrase, "you must be happy with you, to be happy in life", or something like that. It's not that I'm unhappy....it's just that I need more. And I have no problem admitting that! I think many moms and wives think that. I think many of us have so many pressures placed on us that we don't have time to do something for us. My husband and kids complete a huge part of me and I have always shoved the thought of not being content out of my head, because it made me feel bad. But I'm not going to anymore.  I'm going to find and explore a passion of mine, which is blogging and writing. Who knows where it will lead, but hey I'm willing to try!

The purpose of this blog:
-An outlet for me
-To feature fellow moms who are inspiring and have overcome odds. Those odds can be anything from single parenthood, to starting a business, to overcoming depression...etc. I would like to feature a mom every week.
-To help at least one person a week, whether it's with a business idea, a product, a smile and laugh...etc.

I have no expectations here....well yeah I do but for now I will keep those to myself. I'm pretty much an open book type of person. What you see is what you get.

Ok so let's get started!!!