Why...

I've been uninspired regarding life, what to do with myself, what to make for dinner, should I wash my hair today or do a scary sloppy bun like below. 

What will my new blog entry be about?

 I have so much on my mind these days. I don't even know where to begin.

Perhaps therein lies the problemo folks.

I've never been an indecisive gal.

I want it now!

Hell, I wanted it 5 minutes ago.

I can usually talk about ANYTHING....TO ANYONE....

FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER...

Oh man I just saw those creepy twins from The Shining in my head.

 I can even talk to the dogs when no one else is home. Or myself...

I think I could look slightly insane when I drive? 

I mumble, grumble, think out loud.

I'm goofy and like to have fun.

I'm the weird gal that likes to make a loud outburst just because...well I don't know why. Because I'm a goof, I guess.

So I've been unfocused and procrastinating a lot lately. 

Which is NOT me.

So I'm going to just go with what I woke up with on my mind today. 

WHY?

MY WHY?

Well let's get real: I have 2 whys currently!

My first why: I'm blessed with a husband that has provided a wonderful income for years. It's allowed me to be home with my babies.

However, it's the oil/gas industry. Ugh...

Which has tanked this last year.

He is damn good at what he does. But when there's no work....there's no work.

I think we're beginning to see it really hit East Texas. 

And that scares the crap outta me!

He also works his butt off with a side business. He writes marching band drills. 

Yep someone writes those you guys.

The marching bands don't just wander around to weird musical arrangements and hit AWESOME formations on their own.

Nope....but for a fee BrynnPark Productions does just that for you!! And it's super cool!!

He's awesome at it. He's writing 18 drills this season. 

18!!!

So he's stressed! To the max.

You can never tell he's stressed, but he is this year!

We've barely seen him this summer. He's been locked away in his office.

A LOT!

But that's ok. I'm a big girl. I can handle our 3 little punks alone.

Sometimes....

Anyway. I keep saying how can I help, what can I do, let me go back to work. 

To which he responds NO! 

You guys, he never puts his foot down.

If you know us, you know that. 

But I've respected him up until the last week.

*****ETA: a few people told me the above sounded harsh. I don't disrespect him! I never have! I meant honoring his wishes to not work. And I'm still trying to find a way to be a stay at home mom but bring in income. He doesn't want me working outside the home. ******

I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I'm starting my own business and I'm going to make it work. 

Will it sustain us? I don't know...

But it'll help...hopefully.

I don't like to talk finances. But I need to say this. We've prepared over the last few years to save.

We have watched savings dwindle to nothing....TWICE!

So I don't want to hear: you should've been prepared.

Duh! I could type all day how being prepared doesn't always work.

My other WHY? This lil fella below!

If you know our family, you know about our middle child! Our only boy.

He's finally found his thing! He wants to be a gymnast.

He told me the other day he wants to go to the Olympics! 

Now I know that is a long shot to say the least!

But I'll support him no matter what.

He's happy, he's thriving...he is good!

Yesterday his coach stood and talked to me for five minutes after practice ended about how good he is!

Major improvements this summer.

All I could do was hold back tears thinking, how am I going to keep my baby in gymnastics?

So there you have it! My WHY'S!

This is not a plea to get you to feel sorry for me and buy what I'm selling.

This is more of an explanation for my latest endeavor!

And I know that most of us in sales use our social media outlets to market these days.

And it may make you roll your eyes and "unfollow" them.

Let's be respectful of those "whys" shall we?!

Everyone has a WHY!

What's yours?

https://jamiehuskey.myrandf.com

Join my team and change your life in more ways than one!!!

****I'm participating in a monthly blog circle with some AMAZING ladies. Hope on over to Danielle's blog. She's a true inspiration to me.****

http://bryanfamilybabble.blogspot.com/2015/07/find-your-cause-love-god-love-people.html?m=0

The big cart...

We are blessed with 3 incredibly smart and beautiful children. However....they (2 out of 3) don't forget a damn thing. 

They inherited that awful trait from me! I'm so proud...well not really.

It's the kind of thing that comes in handy at times but then it can also be not so good. 

For as long as I can remember, I've allowed popcorn and a drink when we go to Target. 

It's always been our thing. Something I've always said "yes" to. And of course they never forget!

I really try to do these trips solo but with 3 kids, that ain't always possible!

So it was always popcorn and a fountain drink that was the least harmful...not soda.

Then it became popcorn and a soda.

Now it's popcorn and a slurpee.

I'm not a fan of slurpees for many reasons:

They're too cold! I hate getting brain freezes!

They cost more!

They're loaded with sugar!

Can they not make them dye free? Every possible color that they make stains!

The other day we went and oh my word they had a white colored one! It was like I'd won the lottery!

Except Ms. Sassy Pants (aka: the 2 year old) didn't want white! She wanted blue! Of course she did! So I said, "nope you gettin white girly"! 

She's loud you guys. It's scary how loud she can be! Of course she threw a fit! 

But I said no and got her a white one. And after I promised her the BIG CART, she was all good! 

You know the cart I speak of right?!

 

I hate you big cart! I find you useless and insignificant! There's no point to you, besides carrying extra kids! Mine aren't close in age anymore so it's pointless for me to even attempt to drive it!

It's hard to navigate this beast thru the store. I hit end caps, displays, shelves, unsuspecting old ladies..etc. 

Of course my nutty 2 year old thinks it's a ride and loves when I bump into things. 

Everything is so far away in this cart! Once my phone rang and I couldn't get to it in time! 

It's really no different from a Suburban! I test drove one once! Hats off to those of you lil mamas that maneuver those things thru traffic! It's like a bus!!!

The last time I even tried to maneuver this blasted cart around Target, I took down a s'mores display. 

I had to pick up Hershey bar and marshmallow packages!

Hands to the Heavens it was on a back end cap and no one saw!

Thanks Target! Thank you for that! Now I gotta buy crap to make s'mores bc the one pictured below sees the displays! 

And I can't handle another fit! I just can't do it!

That's the face I get before the fit comes! It's cute isn't it?! But I assure you it's not cute! She can be frightening!

I give in to fits bc I get so embarrassed and I want her to stop! BUT I also don't want to raise a brat!

I told her no to s'mores and she threw her slurpee out of the cart! She's done this twice now! 

It's absolutely mortifying when she does bc the mess it makes is so bad! Luckily a kind sales associate who was stocking yogurt had paper towels on hand and she helped me clean it up!

So guess what? I bought the crap to make s'mores! I gave in! I said "yes". Actually I think I said "oh my god please stop, I'll get them...just stop." 

Funny thing is, she doesn't even like them. They get too messy for her! Another OCD child to add to my repertoire! Yay me!

I know I bring all of this on myself!

I'll admit that I resort to bribery.

I've set the precedent for the slurpee and popcorn.

The popcorn that I eat the most of! Bc the kids eat like 2 handfuls! Why don't I just smack the calories right on my backside?!!!

So the moral of this rant:

I think life is like the big cart at times! We think it'll be all fun and it's such a great idea...

But then you lose control.

You take on too much.

If you're wise, you ask for help or admit "defeat" and refocus and move on...

And if you're like me, you take it all on and let it build and build...until you blow up.

Don't go for the big cart. Focus on what you can handle, afford, tolerate, etc.. Stop trying to be like other moms or families, etc.

We are living in times where our kids have ten times more than we had. It's only natural that our kids see what others have and want that too.

We owe it to ourselves and our kids to set boundaries and rules. I think it's ok for us to say to our kids, "hey guys we can't afford that right now, or we can't go to the beach this year."

I think that's one of the biggest stressors in life. It is for me at least. I think this phase of our lives, with young kiddos and the day to day maintenance of life and all that it entails is overwhelming. 

I swear every time I turn around, there is something else I need to buy, or someone has broken something, or there's an injury or accident. 

It's almost comical because in the grand scheme of things, these are usually trivial things.

It's ok to say no, and it's ok to say yes.

It's important for your kids to know that they can't have it all. And it's ok that you can't always provide it.

I think that's why I've always allowed that little treat at Target. It's always been one of my "yes" things. We can afford the treat at the snack bar...and someday I will miss buying that treat at the snack bar.

And I'm sure way into my future I'll see a young mom struggling to push that beastly cart, while the kids are leaving a trail of popcorn, and having a very loud discussion regarding who has the bluest teeth from that blasted blue slurpee.

And instead of saying "oh my you have your hands full" OR "enjoy this phase bc it goes fast"...

I'm going to say, "oh honey, the minute the baby daddy gets home, go slam a glass of wine bc you deserve it."

Shoot I might even buy that poor soul a box of Franzia!

Just stop.....

It's a phrase I say often...just stop!

Now it can be in a yelling voice, like when my older 2 are fighting, JUST STOP!!! 

  

Or it can be an OH JUST STOP...as in STOP IT. Like when someone says something funny or absurd!

Or it can be that tiny, but loud at the same time,  voice in your head that says, JUST STOP...bc you're gonna miss it.

You see, tonight I didn't just stop. I kept going. And I ignored my verrrrry tired 2 year old that wanted me to lay with her on my bed and watch an episode or six of her beloved Bubble Guppies with her.

So when I finally felt I could stop and relax, I came in to find this.

For some reason it made me tear up. I felt so bad! I mean it's not like I left her there alone to put herself to sleep.

Nor was I ignoring her, by any means!! Because if you've met this beautiful and loud lil lady, you know she's hard to ignore!

I just kept going. I didn't JUST STOP and lay with her. What was I doing really....?

It wasn't like the world would've ended had I stopped my nightly chores. It's just hard to let it go (admit it, you kinda just sang that song from Frozen....anyone else over that song?!).

I wish I wasn't such a perfectionist.

I wish I wasn't so OCD.

I just take such pride in my family and our home. 

I want to be the perfect mom and be there for everyone BUT at the same time, I can't do it all! Who can really?!

At times, being a mom is overwhelming!!!

I think back to when I had just one kiddo and worked full time.

All I wanted was to be able to stay home and be with her. And when our second one came along, I was able to do that.

And for the most part, I was able to manage our family of 4 and JUST STOP for those little moments.

At least I think I was??

I sometimes beat myself up bc I can't remember it all!

I still have mental images of a certain outfit that I loved them in, or them doing something so funny...or bad.

I wish I could remember it all.

Sometimes I place too much importance on the trivial, worldly possessions.

Sometimes I ignore a child trying to talk my ear off about something! 

Sometimes I say I'm looking but I really didn't see that trick on the trampoline.

Sometimes I'm going at warp speed in cleaning mode and I leave the fridge door open, so the 2 year old gets the pickles out and when we make eye contact, she turns to run and drops the pickles shattering glass and pickle juice EVERYWHERE! 

And sometimes I totally lose it on that above scenario bc now it's set me back 15-20 minutes, all the while I'm muttering why is she such a toot, the older 2 didn't do this, now I'm going to be late...well bull, I'm already late...so I'm going to be later now, and oh my god I just stepped on a shard of glass...oh god I hope I got it all bc I don't need someone to cut their foot or toe bc the drama of that will just be too much...

***BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE***

JUST STOP!

Slow down! Embrace your "messy" home. Who's going to say anything?!

JUST STOP!

So you don't miss laying and snuggling with your baby girl.

She's still in my bed. I'm writing my blog next to her. 

But before I did this entry, I did JUST STOP and smell her hair and kiss her head and hold her chubby lil hand.

I could've seen she was asleep and gone back to what I was doing...but I did JUST STOP.

Baby steps...

In the wise words of Ferris Bueller:

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile...you could miss it.

***I'm participating in a monthly blog circle! Head on over to my beautiful friend Tiffany's blog to read and enjoy her joyful spirit! http://joyfullyfullofit.blogspot.com/2015/07/blog-hoppers-july-and-summer-blahs.html?m=1

Clothes clothes glorious clothes....

I LOVE clothes! And I have the sweetest friend who has started an adorable boutique on Etsy!! Here's her story!

I am a follower of Christ, an unorganized mother to two beautiful children, and a devoted lover and wife to a wonderful man.  I own a little Children's clothing shop on etsy called "The JimmieLee Boutique" which is named after my Mimi--better known as my best friend. At 82 years old she walked down the isle as my Matron of Honor in my wedding. I love creating new, unique outfits that you can't find anywhere else. There is something so gratifying in making your own clothes. It has become my creative outlet when changing diapers and cleaning up messes becomes a little too routine. When i first started cursing...um, i mean sewing...(it was a learning process) my sweet husband wasn't sure of my new hobby at all. I started with pillows and simple things. I remember i came to him one night and said, " i think i'll sew a dress". To which he replied, "I don't know honey..." Me, being the stubborn woman that i am, that was all the push i needed. Tell me i can't do something--and i'll do it and ten times more. The rest, was history.

So if you like cute, handmade items go see Kayla! And here's a pic of my cutie in an item from her shop!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheJimmieLeeBoutique

Remember that time when...

Ok this post is meant to be funny!! So I don't want to hear how I'm being mean spirited bc I'm not! I would never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings over something serious....unless you are rude to my family or I feel like I'm in danger...then that's another story!

I do like to laugh and make others laugh.

I guess it's my love language? If there was one of that sort. I have a very sarcastic side and my humor is different than most people!

That being said, let me take this moment to discuss and show y'all snippets of our plane ride home!! 

Now we flew Southwest, which is a great airline...but for ONE reason they suck!

Suckage=not assigning seats!!

I mean c'mon! At least put families with young children together?! It seriously puts me into a panic if we're not all together!!

So the flight home. Tim had Rowan (ha ha sucker) and I had the older 2. Tim's mom managed to get a seat next to him. 

The douche that sat next to his mom was a single guy w/o kids who actually asked my husband if Rowan was going to cry the whole flight? Ummmm wth? 

WHO asks that? I mean really?? Heck, I wish I could predict that!!

My mom will probably yell at me for calling him a douche but he was. My mother in law was a saint for talking to him and giving him advice on fun stuff/good places to eat in Dallas.

She missed his stupid question regarding Tim's ability to predict the future of his toddler's moods! Perhaps that's why she was nice. 

Rowan was an angel the entire flight but about 20 minutes in she asked for me. I was in the row in front,in the middle of Brynn and Parker. 

Fine, I'll take her. What was not fine was this, not even 10 minutes after the handover!!

 

I'm not gonna lie y'all...I wanted to hurt him. I was so insanely jealous! His abilities to quickly fall asleep make me so mad!! I wanted a kid free nap!!

So the Dramamine eventually hit everyone but me and all 3 fell asleep.

She did have her head down but woke up while I was trying to take a pic.

Before they fell asleep we had some selfie fun!

 

Yes that's me with all 3 kids....awake!!

Again, here is my husband!

Tim was grumpy when we got off and I think it's bc he was hungry?! We were all hungry! The peanuts and 100 calorie snack packs of chex mix don't hold you too long! 

I somehow lost my emergency pack of peanut M&M's?! Wth! I'm still upset over that! I wanted them so bad...oh well.

So we de-plane and head towards baggage claim. We passed at least 15 places to eat and Tim wouldn't let us get food! 

We actually had a spat about it. I hate to fight over petty crap but the kids were hungry!

So he decided to get the car at the parking place and I would stay back with the kids to get the luggage. 

That was fun! I LOVE when all the luggage comes out together!

Tim called me when I was standing outside on the lower level by baggage claim and asked me to come upstairs bc it was less crowded! 

Ummmmm....NO! I've got 3 hungry, pissy kids and a ton of luggage! 

Not pictured: the pack'n play. 

Yes I took a pic!

I wanted to have a memory: hey honey, remember that time when....

We can laugh about it now, but we were both in bad moods for different reasons.

Don't worry, he got the silent treatment for awhile and I got my apology!! 

Bc I always win!!! Right Tim?! Love you honey!

Vacation post 2

Quite honestly I've been in a funk! And then Tim worked out of town for 2 LONG weeks and I was stressed and busy!!!

So anyway...I promised to blog about our vacation...scratch that...our trip. It's never a vacation with kids!! 

Rowan was actually pretty good considering she was completely off schedule and EVERY.SINGLE.TIME she fell asleep it was on a public transportation ride of some sort and then we'd have to wake her up to get off!

Poor baby!!

And then if she didn't get a nap she looked like this by about 3 pm!

The older 2 had fun! Brynn more so than Parker, but only bc she's older and knows more. Parker's fave place was the Air and Space Museum!

Brynn loved them all but I didn't get to go with her to the Natural History Museum, bc I went to the Holocaust Museum. So I don't have any pics of her there! But here she is fussing over the fact that her name is never on a keychain, mug, license plate, etc...

 

Poor Brynn!! Someday she will love the name we gave her! She won the best traveler award! The boy fussed about how his legs hurt him! Too much walking for him! 

From the kid that never stops moving, tumbling...etc. 

Whatevs dude!! 

Before the 1 mile walk took a toll on him, he did have a smile on his face, posing with Brynn!

It really was a fun trip. And we are thankful to Tim's parents for their generosity that provided this trip.

We got to spend time with family and even got an adult night out!! Fun times!!!

Rowan with Aunt Mandy!!

Bud hugging Parker goodbye!! He sure does love his big cousin!!

My next post will be about some funnier stuff!!

Ode to Vivienne...

I always feel guilty getting a pedicure bc I don't like spending the money! But my sweet husband always says "don't be silly, go and get one."

But quite frankly this meme could be me at the present time.

I mean really...I'm not that bad! Is this not hilarious though?!

I wonder if the nail techs say things along those lines in Vietnamese! I love my nail lady!

If you know me you've probably heard me talk about Vivienne. Well she's left my favorite nail place! Nooooo....

Bc even though she ALWAYS brought up my ingrowns, she was damn good. She gave a great pedicure! And we had become friends!

She was that typical friend that insulted you in a nice way! Haha...and I swear she always tried to get me drunk! Every.damn.time!

V: Hunnay, let me get you wine. You always so tense.

Me: it's like noon

V: oh c'mon hunnay, it'll be ok. Just one glass.

Me: I gotta get the kids in a few hrs but thank you.

V: ok you just let me know!! Dr. Vivienne will take care of you!

Ahhh....typical Vivienne convo!

This salon had a fire awhile back, and they were closed for awhile. And she had to go elsewhere, understandably so.

The nail techs seem like gypsys in the night! They don't stay at one place too long!

I asked where she went and the guy said "she just go." Umm ok, that's helpful!

So I will find you Vivs!! We have many nail places in town and I will be searching them for you. Perhaps you're at Foxy Nail, Happy Nail, Kim Nail, Nails by Lee, Aloha Nail...the possibilities of your current employment are endless!

If anyone in Tyler Texas finds her, please let me know.

I'm going to go now and enjoy this pedicure. I swear I just saw "Danny" look at my pinky toe in disgust! 

I wish Brynn was with me. She always has her face in a book when we come bc I make her laugh too hard at these places. Well that and she gets a kick out of the massage chair making my chest shake like it's having a convulsion.

Brynn:  mom your boobs!!

Me: what? I can't help it!

Brynn: it's hilarious!

Me: hey, you may look like your daddy but you are still half me! So you could inherit these too! 

Brynn: <blank stare>

Ok, that's all. I'm still working on featuring a fabulous lady every week!! I just haven't had anyone turn anything in yet!! My first friend Angie knocked it out of the park, but I'm sure many other women can inspire us! 

Remember, these features can come from any angle! If you or someone you know is interested, please let me know!!

Truth...

Not gonna lie...even after 3 kids, she still scares me! I'm afraid she's going to become one of those awful kids who you see at the store and want to beat! 

Oh well, at least she's cute!!! :-/

Perspective...

I'm not going to lie, I was feeling a little sorry for myself earlier. Over something petty and ridiculous! See below:

I know, you're thinking what's the big deal?! It's just dirty dog paw prints! 

When we went on our trip, I knew I'd miss the pups but I knew I wouldn't miss this. Neither would my family! They hear me fuss and gripe about this multiple times a day!

In fact, I text that pic to Tim and said "back to reality". Back to reality in more ways than one.

I was frustrated earlier bc I feel overwhelmed with ALL the things I need to get done.

Now these are things that are on my list! Not a normal person's list! Just things around the house, and what it takes to get us through a week around here.

I sometimes let that stress me out too much. I wish I wasn't such a Type A spaz!

I need a nice dose of perspective every now and then. I think we all do. It's funny how you can gain a little perspective.

Driving down a road that I frequent often, that in fact most people in my inner/outer circles travel often multiple times a day...I saw them....

Flowers.

Fresh flowers on the side of the road, where a horrible accident took the lives of 2 wonderful people the week before last.  I didn't know them personally, but from what I've heard, I'm in awe of who they were.

One was an exchange student at a local private school, who had his whole life ahead of him. If I read correctly, he had a college scholarship waiting for him. His poor parents had to travel from the Ukraine to bury their baby boy.

And yes, he was a tall 18 yr old young man, but he was still someone's baby. At some point, earlier in his life, his mom rocked him and stared at him and probably counted his freckles and marveled at the length of his lashes, bc we know that boys always get the long ones. And as his mom, she was in awe of his beauty. I cannot even begin to imagine her pain right now...

It's heartbreaking. He was a Christian and I'm sure he's now in awe of being in the arms of our Saviour. I hope that fact makes this tragedy easier to comprehend.

The other victim in this tragedy, hits a little closer to home for me.

She was a mom...

Of 3 kids...

2 girls and a boy...

A loving Christian mom that did anything and everything for her kids.

Her kids were her life. She was their biggest fan. I've loved reading all of the beautiful things people have written about her. We have several mutual friends, so I've seen many stories and memories shared on social media.

It hits so close to home for many moms I've talked to because we all travel that road in our SUV's loaded with kids. This mom had her 3 kids with her, and 2 of their friends.  Her kids and one friend survived by the Grace of God. 

Sometimes I have friend's kids with me. I always take it seriously...the responsibility of someone else's child, but now the feeling is overwhelming.

It could've been any one of us. Someone that I knew, or myself. Scary isn't it? How quickly life can be taken from us? 

Do you ever stop and think about the enormity of a situation like this? I cannot fathom not being around for my kids. I just can't...and I'm sure that was the furthest from this mother's mind that rainy evening.

To be honest, I haven't gone down this road as much since this accident. It makes me sick to my stomach. It was such a senseless tragedy. Because of someone's selfish actions, 3 kids lost their mom and parents had to bury their son.

Being out of town the past 5 days I'd forgotten for a brief second. And that's when I saw the 2 sets of flowers on the side of the road.

It immediately brought me back. And I felt ashamed of my whining and negative thoughts. My eyes immediately went to my rear view mirror where I saw my crazy lil toddler, who has been challenging to say the least today, and I saw her clapping and chanting to Little Einsteins on her DVD player. She was so incredibly gleeful in that moment. Sweet baby.

So I challenge you to find your perspective. Maybe you struggle with the simple, mundane everyday tasks or maybe it's something that is very serious.

I challenge you to turn your negativity around and focus on something good in your life. Everyone has something good in their life.

My perspective today quickly changed.  I know that muddy paw prints and 4 loads of laundry ain't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things!

Beginning this month, I'm participating in a blog circle with some amazing and beautiful women.  Click and see what Tiffany has to say this month. 

http://joyfullyfullofit.blogspot.com/2015/05/blog-hopper-june-summer-accessory.html?m=1

Vacation....

Spring Break 2015

So yeah we're going on a trip! Super excited! But the kids are coming!!! Yay! A huge YAY for the one pictured below! Because y'all know, it's NEVER a vacay with kids in tow.

Look at her eyes! Doesn't she look super tired?? She just won't give it up!

My idea of a vacation is being on a beach...alone. I want alcoholic beverages, with the little umbrellas, brought to me by someone that looks like Mario Lopez. But he can't be an asshole like Mario. And he can speak Spanish to me! 

Tim can come on this trip but he's not allowed to speak between the hours of 8am to noon. Lol! I'm kidding...well kinda...

Back to the above pic, I did something I said I'd never do...I drugged her. Just a lil bit. I found Children's  Dramamine! Hot diggity dog!! 

The 2-6 year old dosage was all the same! Umm wth? So I gave her a half of a tablet!

She loved it and demanded more! Perhaps I shouldn't have called it candy? Hmmm...

Tim is already sweating. He's never flown with all 3. And let's be honest, #1&2 are great kids. Minus a few spats today, they've been perfect. 

So he's holding Rowan, hence the sweating. 

OMG! We are taking off and he's asleep? I told him he wasn't allowed to sleep!  What is it with men? Their heads hit the pillow and they're gone.

I'm sitting here about to vomit, thinking of how I'll get the masks on everyone in time.

I used to love flying. Hang on...

Praise Jesus!! Maybe Dramamine has a delayed effect on her. I took some too...you know just in case. I don't have access to Xanax (sp?) so making myself a little loopy will help with the nerves! 

Since I became a mom, I hate flying. I don't know why..but that's the case. I wish I had the excitement of my kids.

Oh well, when we land (hopefully) I'll be excited!

The boy is happy! They have free wifi!! 

He's tracking our flight while we fly! How cool!

Is he not the cutest?? I can't believe he'll be 8 in a couple of weeks!! :-(

My big girl is sitting with Tim's parents, so I can't get her picture!

Current status is glorious!! Just presh!

Well it was short lived but she did great! I think she slept 30 min? 

Here she is asking me if I'm current on my airline safety awareness! ;-)

Here are a couple more from the flight! It went really well!

This is how popularity is determined...

So this is how things went in our house this morning:

6:40- that damn alarm goes off and I hit snooze...

6:50- it has the nerve to go off again. 

****I absolutely HATE waking up...I mean who really likes waking up****

So I get up and we begin the morning routine. Tim lets the dog out. The big one...not the little one. It's raining....AGAIN! I don't think I've seen the sun in weeks! I'm all for a gloomy day but fo' realzzzz, enough already! I'm over the dark skies and wet weather. We might get snow/ice tonight! If the kids have a snow day tomorrow, I might cry.

Anyway back to the dogs. It's important for me to splice them in bc they set my mood every morning. Lately the puppy likes to bark at every noise he hears, which is so fun! It adds so much more to the morning chaos! So he goes to the door and swats his bells I've got hanging on the door handle to notify us when he has to go. 

****Best and worst idea ever! I'll be hearing those bells for the rest of my life! Their sound is forever etched in my memory!!****

 Tim will have to dry him off bc our backyard is a wet, muddy mess. No matter how good you dry either dog, they track in some type of schmutz! I'm so over it! OVER IT! I'm mopping constantly. It's getting old. No it's past the point of old. 

So we get Parker in the shower, and we are already running about 5 min behind. Parker has started to shower in the mornings bc he's cold. Once he comes out, he gets dressed and I get his breakfast ready. He never eats the same thing really for more than 2 days in a row. So he's back to cinnamon toast this morning which takes preparation but whatever. He's still NOT 50 pounds so I'm always trying to fatten him up.

****Now would be a good time to add that he doesn't like butter on his bread but I need to add butter in order to make his cinnamon toast. So I have to make sure it's spread in. OH and the toast has to be toasted but not too dark. If it's too dark he really won't eat it. And we're not talking burnt toast, bc who likes that? We're talking some special way that Parker has pre-determined acceptable to his palate. Pain in the ass, party of one calling.****

The dogs are fighting and my daily threat of "imma cut you if you don't shut up" has begun. So I'm already a tad edgy. I've had sinus crud for days and I just want back in that warm bed so I can hang out with Frank and Claire Underwood. Yes, that is a shameless plug for one of the best shows ever, House of Cards.

Enter child número uno:

I don't know what in the sam hell she is wearing. We long layer a lot but this was long layering taken to the extreme. Plus things are getting tighter on her. She's not gained weight really but she's bigger in certain areas. And at the risk of embarrassing her, I'll let you figure out what stage of life we are in. Yay! So I made the mistake of saying "um you can't wear that." Well holy hell! The fit she went into. Oopsie.

****the damn dogs....all their fault****

So I've upset her. I don't know why...?

So she turns around and stomps back to her room and changes. She still keeps her jeans and long layering shirt on and comes out with another shirt on. It's better but yeah, my face says it all. 

Me: how about you wear those cute tops I bought you for your bday?

Brynn: ummm bc I've worn those already.

****let me add here that there's tone on her end...oh hell is there tone****

Me: when, like last week?

B: no mom but there hasn't been a 3 week separation btwn last time and today.

Me: uh what?

B: mooooom, I've told you that what a girl wears and how often determines her popularity!

Me: <blank stare>

B:if I wear the same things, I'll look poor and people will think I have nothing to wear!

Me: who determines this rule? Who has said this?

B: I don't know...it doesn't matter. It's just how things are.

Me: ummm ok, so first things first. Have we raised you to be a snob who says and believes that? No! Do you make fun of or look down upon those who do wear the same things every week?

B: <quietly> no, I wouldn't do that.

Me: well good! So why are you holding yourself to the same standard? Who says it has to be this way????

B: no one, never mind it just doesn't matter.

Me: no it does! You can't have this mentality! 

B: fine! Just forget it!

Me: watch your tone.

She stomps back to her room and I'm thinking she's going to change into another horrific ensemble but she doesn't.

She comes back out with a hair accessory that she needs help with. I've done it before but for some reason I can't get it today? Quite possibly bc I'm afraid of her at this point. I can't do it right so she storms off again. 

****Btw, this all happens between 7-730. It's been a very tense half hour!****

I feel like I'm entering....no, I know I'm entering a new phase. Brynn is a very easy and usually happy child. She's trying to assert herself in many ways, which is very appreciated! But at that same time, I feel she still needs guidance with some issues and I find myself not approaching those in the best way.

I'm a control freak and I like things perfect but Brynn apparently wants to become this generation's "Punky Brewster". It was cute on Soleil Moon Frye but not my kid! 

Oh well...it wasn't the first time and it won't be the last time that I let her wear 

something that I would never put together!

At this point I'm yelling to get teeth brushed and shoes on. This is more for the boy. He's still not awake and has not finished his toast. He hasn't mentioned they're too toasted but I can tell. This reminds me that I must work on my toasting skills. You know, in all the spare time I have!

Once he gets up to finish getting ready, the puppy, who has already been outside twice and terrorized Gus for his food, is eating the rest of the toast that Parker has left on the couch. At least he likes it.

Ahhhh....the days are long but the years are short, right?!

Overcoming....

I told y'all when I started this blog that I wanted to feature a mom every week. It's just something I want to do. I find that we can be the best kind of encouragement to each other.  Well first up is Angie! I knew her in high school. She was a year younger than me but was one of the sweetest, funniest gals ever!! I'm loving getting to know her better and reconnecting via Facebook.  I hope you enjoy her story! I did!

ANGIE:

About 5 years ago I was faced with a mortgage, a car payment and insurmountable debt...alone. I was finalizing my divorce and I "got to" keep the house, car and credit cards of course. I am a teacher by trade so money was tight every single month. Now, single, with 2 daughters, money was basically gone. I knew in my heart that I would eventually be better. Better for myself and better for my girls, but during that time, I wasn't better. I was a mess. I was drowning in debt, emotions and day to day that I barely survived.
I was a zombie going through daily life, barely interacting in meaningful ways, with others. Anyone who's been through divorce knows this time. Knows the numb, hollow place where your heart used to be. Knows the feeling of life swallowing you up and honestly wishing it to.
I'll spare you the details but eventually you snap out of it. You look your angels in the face and say "I'm going to live for them. I'm going to ask God for strength for the day, the hour, the minute, the second." Because they need you. They need to see their mom overcome and be their mom. Their mom who will provide for them and pray for them and be there for them. So that's what I did. Through much prayer and support from my friends, family and church, I got up. I did life again. And eventually started to feel like myself again.
Kids can do that to you. Jesus can do that to you. Give you hope. Give you a reason. A reason to interact with others. A reason to live and grow and be better. So I did. I lived. I did life daily.
Once I realized ending the month in the red wasn't healthy (I had started to emotionally, spiritually and physically take care of myself (more on the physical part in a minute)), I began to pray for ways to earn extra income to pay off the debt I had. I made lists of bars and restaurants I might possibly bartend at on Thursday nights and every other weekend. There were placed like that right? Haha wrong!
A few months before I signed up to become an ambassador for a company called Plexus Worldwide. I signed up for the discount ONLY. I figured if I could at least get this stuff cheaper it would be worth it, right? I started taking the products and lost maybe 4-5lbs. Not what I was looking for! Quite honestly I wasn't doing my part. I wasn't drinking enough water, eating healthier, or even working out.
I kept praying for an opportunity for a second job. Something where I could make some extra money to pay off debt. In the back of my mind and even heart perhaps, I heard this small voice saying "what about Plexus?" After 3 more months of praying about the second job, I finally listened. I started taking the products consistently. I drank my water everyday. I started working out again. I lost another 10lbs and went down a pant size! I even ran a half marathon! By June, I jumped. I decided to start sharing the health I felt because of Plexus. By August I was making enough to pay for my products plus my water and power bills! Whoo!!! You can't imagine the feeling of making just a little extra every month. My business continued to grow and so did my paycheck. Every month I got a raise! I mean, I love my teaching job but I've never received a raise that frequently! As my paycheck continued to grow, my debt diminished. I could breathe again. I could buy my girls things for school and clothes and shoes as they grew out of them instead of waiting it out (you know where you wait "just a few more weeks because the weather will change" waiting it out). I was able to start saving for retirement and possibly even a vacation! This past summer, I took my family of 9 to Gulf Shores, Alabama. We stayed in a terrific condo and had such fun. I was pregnant at the time (surprise) and in November married a great friend from high school whom I had been dating.  In just 5 weeks we will add to our family. A baby boy will join our brood of 4. Yep you read that right! 5 kids!! We are almost the Brady Bunch but will not actually be them. We're stopping at 5. LOL. Plexus has blessed my family with health. Plexus has blessed my family with wealth to save for land and a home and provide for them in ways I never dreamed.
 I don't mean to give Plexus the credit because I know that the same savior who saved me when I was 9 years old is the same savior who nudged me. Provided an opportunity to take care of my family through Plexus. Christ is the same Savior who brought Jason back into my life. And while we may not have "created" our family the way some perceive to be "right," we are blessed. We aren't perfect but there is an awful lot of love in this house. And there will be more very soon!

The plate...

As mothers, we have so much on our plates. Whether you work or stay home, the plate is full. It's always full and until your children are out of the house, it remains full. Now I'm just guessing on that bc I still have all three of my punks at home! I stole "punks" from a dear and hilarious friend. It's meant lovingly, I promise. But I see older friends or acquaintances with their children long gone and there's a difference. The plate is way less full! Like possibly a European size portion verses our fat ass American portions. You ever hear about that? We eat too much over here! Oh well...we can discuss that another time.

Anyhoo, where was I? Oh the plate. Yes the full plate. It gets easier, or so I hear....and I know there's that saying "the days are long but the years are short." Ahhh, that saying. There could not be more truer words spoken. 

We all have those days where we don't think we're going to make it. My time of day is anywhere between 3:30-4:30. What the hell is it about that time? I think it's the lack of energy combined with cranky kids. And that's usually our time of rushing kids from point A to point B so emotions are high people! Shoot there are days when I pick the older 2 punks up and drive thru that circle and I want to make a U-turn and drive them right back. 

My oldest is an awesome kid, but she's got the same disease that I have. The one where you wear every emotion you're feeling on the outside. You know the one! So when I see #1 crossing that crosswalk, I'm thinking "oh hell. She ain't happy." Luckily (unfortunately for me), she saves it for me. Boy do I usually get an earful! Sigh...

 

If you know me, you know I'm a worrier. My husband is not. So we balance each other well. I have a joke that he lives in "Tim land". Tim land is like a carnival with fabulous rides and delicious funnel cakes. He's there a lot. Which I think is great bc dang would my life be a lot easier if I could live like him. He's usually carefree and happy. Me...I'm like a wound ball of stress that's fixing to snap! And I'm medicated! I have NO shame in sharing that! Can you imagine me NOT medicated? Holy crap...I can't! 

I worry too much! I worry about my kids socially, physically and mentally. Every morning after their daddy takes them to school, I pray that they have a good day. I pray that they are kind to others, and that others are kind to them, that they make wise choices and focus on their work, and that they enjoy school.

 So on top of an already full plate, I'm worrying. As a mom with young children still at home, we leave very little time for our spouses and ourselves. It's hard but it must be done. My husband is very good about giving me "ME" time if I need it but at times I probably don't even stop to see that I do need it. 

The reason I wanted to create this blog is to reach other women. I'm always inspired by other moms. I love reading about moms of all walks of life and where they've been, where they hope to go....how they overcame something, etc.

I want to be an encouragement to all moms. And I want you all to share how you manage your full plates OR how you are not managing. Are you "drowning" right now? Join the club! I think we all "drown" at some point. At least we think we are. I'm very guilty of looking at another mom and thinking, "she has it all together". Whereas she may not feel that way at all. People tell me I'm the mom that does it all! Ummm ok..? I don't feel that way! Lol! This is where we could all be more encouraging to one another.  I've heard many women say "oh I'm just too busy", but honestly it doesn't take too much to help a fellow mom out. 

 

I'm excited to be sharing a fellow mom this week, so stay tuned. As I feature these moms, I hope it helps you somehow. I find that some of my worst days can be made so much better just by talking to another mom! Or heck, even my own mom!! My mom is my biggest fan. I know I'll do my best to be that for my kiddos too. I hope you enjoy my featuring a fellow mom. I'm trying to cover all different types and successes or advice that one may give. 

Until then, rock on with that full plate! We're all in this together! 

From a distance...

Let me start with my faith. Yes, I'm a Christian. Always have been, always will be. However, like any Christian I've been up and down with my walk and the example I am. I can curse a wee bit much (I'm not proud of that, just saying there's where my weakness lies). I accept all faiths and people. Tim and I teach our kids that as well. No matter what a person believes, looks like, loves, acts...we still love them as God would love us. That being said, I want my blog to reach ALL people. I know many tend to shut down when God is brought up. Please know that my blog is not intended to go all Christian on you. Again, I accept you for who you are and what you believe and I'm glad you're here. I just want you to know where my heart lies. I'm not perfect...I never will be. But for ME, God will help me get through day to day life. Without Him, I'd be lost.

So where we live is not a huge town. It's considered a small city. That being said, you're going to run into someone that you no longer speak to. It's bound to happen. In the past 24 hrs I've had several reminders of a certain situation that continues to bother me. Yes, I let it bother me but I'm that kind of person. The kind that holds onto things for way  too long. Add it to my list of faults. So anyway, check out my daily Bible verse from yesterday:

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends.

John 15:13

Now whether you're a Christian, Buddist, Mormon, Atheist, etc. I think we can all find this quote relatable. Would you lay down your life for a friend? Would someone do the same for you? Do you have a few best friends or many acquaintances? 

I hope you don't think I'm rambling but I need to give some background first. Tim and I moved to Tyler back in 2004. Brynn was not even 4 months old and besides Tim, I had no friends. So we have a new baby and a major move all before our first anniversary! Stress much?

So anyway, I had no one. I started work and quickly made work friends. My work friends were great. I fit in with the Tyler team very well.  I worked retail so my hours were all over the place and even going to church on a consistent basis was hard. It took us a good 2 yrs to get plugged into a church. 

I'd say by the time I felt "accepted" with a core group of people outside of work,  was the fall I was pregnant with Parker. Tim had left the world of band directing and started a new career path. This path would afford us the opportunity for me to be a stay at home mom once baby boy came. That's something I had always wanted. Let me tell you, it was the most isolating experience I have ever felt.  The core group of moms I thought I had, really never called.  I had to call them. And when I did call them, it felt awkward. I was included but not included. It was hurtful and I was lonely. I was allowed in but only on the outer circle. Years pass and I made friends with a wonderful group of ladies that I'm still friends with today. I've added to that circle of friends as well and I can honestly say that I finally feel connected. But damn did it take forever and it made me question everything about myself. What was wrong with me? Do I come off too strong? Am I too much? Was I too much for our conservative East Texas town?😉 I mean yeah, I say it like it is but I usually try and do it with humor not hurt. I've moved around many times in my life and had to make new friends, so why was it so hard here?! 

So you're probably wondering why I gave you all that mumbo jumbo above.  I've held onto something for too long. There's  someone that doesn't like me. I've tried to make amends with her but she basically said no. When I look back, I think I probably did something wrong...wait did I do something wrong??  I was defending someone that was hurt and had every right to be hurt. Because hey, I'd want someone to do that for me. I'd lay down my life for a good friend and expect it in return. I didn't expect to be cut off because of what I'd done. But it happened...

So to this person, I do not hate you. In fact, I forgive you for making me feel like crap and taking up 4+ years of my self- esteem...making me question every little thing I did wrong and over analyzing why you didn't like me. And the next time I see you out around town, I'll try my best to look you in the eye and say hello. I won't do my normal spot you from a distance and duck down another aisle! I've got to let the piece of hate I have in my heart go because it's not healthy. And no matter what your belief system is, hate is not right. 

I want my reputation to represent my character and vice versa! 

Phew that was a long entry. But I'm trying to tie it all together. We as women are so much more susceptible to these kinds of situations. It's so hard to let go and move forward. It's hard to lose a friend or acquaintance. It's hard to see/hear someone bad mouth you to others. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to be everyone's bestie, but I'm encouraging you to reach out to others. Take the time and include someone you normally wouldn't include. It would make all the difference in the world to that person. I know that I would've appreciated that a few years ago.