Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Just stop.....

It's a phrase I say often...just stop!

Now it can be in a yelling voice, like when my older 2 are fighting, JUST STOP!!! 
Or it can be an OH JUST in STOP IT. Like when someone says something funny or absurd!

Or it can be that tiny, but loud at the same time,  voice in your head that says, JUST STOP...bc you're gonna miss it.

You see, tonight I didn't just stop. I kept going. And I ignored my verrrrry tired 2 year old that wanted me to lay with her on my bed and watch an episode or six of her beloved Bubble Guppies with her.

So when I finally felt I could stop and relax, I came in to find this.

For some reason it made me tear up. I felt so bad! I mean it's not like I left her there alone to put herself to sleep.

Nor was I ignoring her, by any means!! Because if you've met this beautiful and loud lil lady, you know she's hard to ignore!

I just kept going. I didn't JUST STOP and lay with her. What was I doing really....?

It wasn't like the world would've ended had I stopped my nightly chores. It's just hard to let it go (admit it, you kinda just sang that song from Frozen....anyone else over that song?!).

I wish I wasn't such a perfectionist.

I wish I wasn't so OCD.

I just take such pride in my family and our home. 

I want to be the perfect mom and be there for everyone BUT at the same time, I can't do it all! Who can really?!

At times, being a mom is overwhelming!!!

I think back to when I had just one kiddo and worked full time.

All I wanted was to be able to stay home and be with her. And when our second one came along, I was able to do that.

And for the most part, I was able to manage our family of 4 and JUST STOP for those little moments.

At least I think I was??

I sometimes beat myself up bc I can't remember it all!

I still have mental images of a certain outfit that I loved them in, or them doing something so funny...or bad.

I wish I could remember it all.

Sometimes I place too much importance on the trivial, worldly possessions.

Sometimes I ignore a child trying to talk my ear off about something! 

Sometimes I say I'm looking but I really didn't see that trick on the trampoline.

Sometimes I'm going at warp speed in cleaning mode and I leave the fridge door open, so the 2 year old gets the pickles out and when we make eye contact, she turns to run and drops the pickles shattering glass and pickle juice EVERYWHERE! 

And sometimes I totally lose it on that above scenario bc now it's set me back 15-20 minutes, all the while I'm muttering why is she such a toot, the older 2 didn't do this, now I'm going to be late...well bull, I'm already I'm going to be later now, and oh my god I just stepped on a shard of glass...oh god I hope I got it all bc I don't need someone to cut their foot or toe bc the drama of that will just be too much...



Slow down! Embrace your "messy" home. Who's going to say anything?!


So you don't miss laying and snuggling with your baby girl.

She's still in my bed. I'm writing my blog next to her. 

But before I did this entry, I did JUST STOP and smell her hair and kiss her head and hold her chubby lil hand.

I could've seen she was asleep and gone back to what I was doing...but I did JUST STOP.

Baby steps...

In the wise words of Ferris Bueller:
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in could miss it.

***I'm participating in a monthly blog circle! Head on over to my beautiful friend Tiffany's blog to read and enjoy her joyful spirit!

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